Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Love lift us up where we belo-o-ong

We have an all new reason to fear. We have giant eagles living outside our apartment. I am not kidding. I noticed when I was hanging the laundry out one day that there were hundreds of these very large, very fierce birds flying overhead all over Delhi. I'm talking massive. So, having lived in Arizona for the last couple of years, I assumed that they were hawks. Oh no, silly American girl, these are Golden Eagles. I looked Golden Eagles up on the Internet and learned this about them...

"Golden Eagles primarily prey upon small mammals such as hares, birds, insects and carrion. When hunting, they swoop over open country in search of food and take prey in spectacular stoops (dives from high altitudes). Hunting solo or in pairs, these large raptors are capable of preying on lambs and small goats."


Lambs and small goats. Lambs and small goats. Lambs and small goats.

Our new neighbors
Okay. So these suckers don't play around. Well, as long as they don't come too close, I guess we are okay. Oh wait! What is that sitting on the ledge of our window? Oh it's only a massive bird with a four foot wing span READY TO CARRY OFF MY LAMBS AND SMALL GOATS!!!

I'm watching you, cause I'm a watchbird!

Yeah, they are always around and they look ticked! But you don't have any livestock, Bethany, you may think. Neither do my neighbors, I would reply. Then why do they hang out around your house, we would query. Well the answer came in church on Sunday when our teacher asked, "You know how we all have rats in our houses?" No, I did not know this. This was not made clear to me by the Indian Embassy when I applied for a visa. This is in none of my guide books. How the heck was I supposed to know this?!? Nathan's answer is that he will buy a cricket bat and have it next to his side of the bed to bash whatever rodent might enter our room in the night. I would then go all Dakota Fanning and cover my eyes with a scarf and softly hum "Hushabye Mountain" while he does the dirty deed. Alternatively, I might just tempt one of the eagles in Lord of the Rings style and have it take care of the problem. My enemy's enemy is my friend.



As if this was not enough, we were warned yesterday to watch out for monkeys. Warned. These monkeys are not cute and cuddly, apparently. These monkeys will drag you into a dark alley and rough you up a bit if they don't like the look of you. Maybe that's exaggerating a bit, but I am living in stinking Wild Kingdom out here! They are quite aggressive, apparently, and so we have to be careful around them. Nathan and I have a bet going to see who catches an eagle carrying a monkey off first. I am going to win that prize.

On a more serious note, what is the NBA thinking? Maybe we should take a collection to pay Stern and Jackson whatever Popavich (or Pop-my-zit as I like to call him) is paying them. Such an utter disgrace. And congrats to Nowitzki. That has to feel pretty hollow since everyone knows you don't deserve it. Way to go. I'm ticked.

GO SUNS!!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Giant birds that carry off livestock? "That's my worst nightmare!"

Why does Nathan need a cricket paddle? I've seen him face a scorpion with only the Book of Mormon to save the woman he loves. (I pray his aim has improved).