Same bat time, different bat channel...

Alright, I think I have it together finally. I have set up another blog for the ongoing adventures of the Jones family. I have to say, though, that my hopes are not high for this one as I have seen a shocking lack of goat-carrying birds and man-killing monkeys since I have been back in the US. I just don't know what I will be able to write that will compare, but if you would like to know what insanity we are up to please check out our new blog here at blogtheimpaler.blogspot.com.

See ya' there!

Six months in India...

Well, as you may or may not know, Nathan and I are back in the US. Nathan received several great job offers while we were there and when he got the chance to work with his former boss (who he loves) again, he jumped at it. So we are back in Arizona now and loving life.

I have to say, though, that there are some things that I really miss about India. We met such amazing people there - people who love their country and are working hard to make their lives as reflective of that love as possible. It makes me sad that I didn't get to say a proper goodbye to them.

So now, we are trying to figure out life here again. I am in the process of designing a new blog, but it is really hard! I would appreciate any ideas that you all might have... Once I have it set up I will let you know.

In the meantime, thanks so much for reading our blog and replying. I can't tell you how much it helped when things were rough to know that there were people all over the globe supporting us and sending their love. We really are so blessed.

In closing, I want to go Alanis Morrisette and say "Thank you, India". We learned so much from you and will always have a special place in our heart for the good memories and friends that we made there.

Namaste.

We'll Always Have Paris

We are back in beautiful, green England, fresh from lovely trip to France. I will write more later as we are off to see "Transformers" in a few minutes, but I thought I would at least share this shot to let you know how wonderful it was.

Je t'aime, France.

Living in Seine

In about five hours Nathan and I are heading off to the airport to fly to Paris via Helskini on Finn Air. I am a bit concerned about the flight as it appears that they have yet to employ the personal entertainment systems that just about every international carrier has now. This wouldn't be an issue except that I have a really hard time sleeping on planes. However, I have spent a ridiculous amount of time watching the second season of Boston Legal recently as the Jordans insisted we give it a shot (We traded them Arrested Development - there are no losers here). I have really been enjoying it, so much that I didn't go to sleep until 3am the other morning. Perhaps that coupled with some sleep aid will make this work. Either way, tomorrow I am going to be walking along the Seine, riding up the Eiffel Tower, and getting copious amounts of Nutella on my face from the crepes I will be inhaling. Laissez les bons temps rouler! (Can you tell that's my favorite French phrase?)

Holy Hannah

The other night Muktar asked Nathan to tell him when we are going home as he and his family want to come and work for us. Does anyone know the number for the Witness Protection Program?

Googalaga, Chimichanga, Espinaca, Willy Wonka

This weekend, the Joneses and Jordans conducted an unscientific experiment to determine if the common Indian person really understands what we say. We have found that no one ever tells you that they don't but nothing is ever quite done the way you ask so it makes you wonder. Therefore, we decided to take a word that we are fairly certain does not appear in either the English or Hindi lexicon and see what we could get by just talking gibberish. The first word chosen was "googalaga". This is a made up word that the Jordan boys use and sounds very much like a lot of Hindi we hear on the street. So, when asking directions to the Spice PVR movie theater Michelle said to a man walking by "Googalaga Spice PVR?" to which he pointed out the direction to go. Elated with our success, but feeling that the results might be tainted by the close proximity to actual Hindi, we decided to change it up a little bit. We chose the word "chimichanga". Upon leaving the parking lot and passing the man that we had to pay, Michael leaned out the window and asked, "Googalaga chimichanga?" to which the parking attendant said, "Yes" and waved us through. We thought we had hit a snag at the toll booth where the attendant first looked at us a bit warily but he then smiled and let us through, much to our relief. Feeling a bit puffed up with ourselves, we told the guard of our gated community, "Googalaga chimichanga espinaca". For having a few politicians on our street, the security is suprisingly not very secure. Later than night as we sat around analyzing our findings, we added Willy Wonka at the end and have instituted a contest to see who can get the craziest thing by using our new phrase. Oh, it's on!

On our way home from the movie, we saw a man on a motorcycle get hit by a bus. He got up and was dusting himself off in a very dazed fashion when the bus backed up a few feet and then drove around him. The guy got back on his bike and took off. I swear, if you showed up thirty seconds after it had happened you would never have known that there had just been an accident. Crazy.

This weekend we had a big reminder of how nice it is to be in a big congregation where there are multiple people who can handle spur of the moment assignments. On Saturday, Nathan taught Institute as I was finishing up preparations for Enrichment Night. We had six people show up so I probably prepared too much, but oh well. Then Sunday we spoke on marriage in Sacrament Meeting. It went really well and we were pleased to be done with our church assignments for the day. We spoke too soon though as our Branch Presidency forgot that it was the fifth Sunday and that they were in charge. On top of that, there was a huge issue that came up that required their attention, so as we walked into the room Nathan was handed the Gospel Principles manual and asked to teach an hour long lesson on the organization of Christ's church. Despite the initial "Holy Crap!" moment, he did a great job. The issue was, though, that he had also been asked to speak at the baptism afterwards. He asked me if I could handle that as it was starting to feel like the Nathan Jones Show and of course I obliged. So I played the piano and then, like any returned missionary who has used the old discussions, I mentally pulled out the second and flipped to 2 Nephi and taught about why Christ needed to be baptised and how if He needed to, how much more we need to. Just like the good ole' days. So the consensus that Nathan and I have come to is that our vacation is just in the nick of time as who knows what we might end up doing next week if we were here!

Oh, and our Sunday School teacher said sh*t in her lesson.

How is shopping in India like Georg and Yortuk Festrunk, the two Czech brothers, from classic Saturday Night Live sketches?

Is it because you are constantly surrounded by swinging American foxes? Is it because everyone is wearing such tight jeans? Or perhaps because people throw in random phrases where they don't belong because they don't grasp the English language (Don't mention it!)? No, it is because it is WILD AND CRAZY!!!

The personification of grocery shopping in India

Last night we were at the store picking up some loose ends - bread and milk kind of thing- when I about lost it. I think Nathan was kind of hoping I would but - in the words of Kit Ramsey - I kept it together.

I guess Steve Martin is the thread that holds this story together.

We got everything that we needed and went to get in line. Now, the registers are lined up near the exit door. I think there are ten with five of them facing the other five and about a five foot aisle in the middle. We, of course, went and lined up where you would assume you were supposed to and waited for a register to come open. The people behind us didn't see things the way that we did and (literally) shoved us aside to stand at one of the registers. Now, this may seem like the smart thing to do, but when everyone comes to the store with four generations of their family, you can imagine the chaos this causes when people are trying to get through this mass to leave the store. It is insane. So we are trying to figure the system out when Nathan gets shoved by an employee. Everyone does that - even the children, and you can imagine how much Captain McLaughlin's daughter likes that. No '"Excuse me", no "I'm sorry", just shove. The back of my hand was just begging me to let it smack someone!

So we finally get behind this one guy who has made the fatal error of picking up a jar full of mini candy bars. Rather than price checking the jar, Einstein the checkout boy and his buddy Galileo decided that the best course of action was to empty the jar out on the counter and count how many bars there were. It was a good thing it wasn't one of those mondo bags of Tootsie Roll Midgees that my mom always buys or there would have been an international incident. Nathan just looks at me and says "I think we have your blog topic for tomorrow".

This was not even the last thing. We FINALLY get to the counter and are trying to get our stuff through as quickly as possible when the checker gets to our produce. Now I am aware that multiple people might touch the produce I buy before I do, but I have never had a checker pull my apple out of the bag and manhandle it looking for the sticker. I'm not quite sure why, but that really bothered me. Arrrrrgh! I hate to say it, but I think Nathan and I are both really looking forward to this break. One week and counting!

Some walk by night, Some fly by day...

So it happened. I swore I never would. I fought it and fought it but the peer pressure was far too great and I caved. The other night I saw my first Die Hard movie. Now I officially feel like part of the club. I have to say that I actually really enjoyed it. There was a lot of humor, ridiculous amounts of gun play, completely improbably stunts involving helicopters, hovering fighter jets, and a very well timed crash into a fire hydrant, and that funny kid from Ed. Even the presence of Bruce Willis was not enough to deter me. Is it weird that I can't decide if he is ultra-masculine or ultra-feminine? He is a scientific anomaly to me. Despite his presence in the movie I really liked it - or maybe it's because he is so beaten up by the end of it that I like it. Hmmmm.... am I slightly masochistic? I think so. I would have LOVED to hear Megan and Shane discuss this one. I didn't realize until I looked it up on Moviefone that it has a different name in the States. Personally, I feel that Die Hard 4.0 sounds better but I get what they were trying to do with the whole Live Free or Die Hard thing.


Of course, we went to the movie with the Jordans who we spent the morning with at the pool. It was there that they informed us that they also do American breakfasts which means that Nathan was a happy camper with his Jimmie Dean sausage and I destroyed the bacon they brought to me. What a great way to spend a Saturday morning. That evening we went to dinner before the movie where we had a great time. It was so funny because every once in awhile one of the four of us would say to the other couple, "I'm so glad you're here!" and we would all agree together. I think we just have a lot of fun together and it really gives us something to look forward to knowing we have a standing appointment with them every weekend. I'm so glad they're here!

Ah hah! So that's how they do it!

I have been scratching my head ever since we got here trying to figure out why people come to India for spiritual enlightenment. Not that there aren't tons of places to go to find spiritual direction, but I haven't been able to figure out what separates this place from so many others that also have religious monuments and history. I think I figured it out last night.

Nathan has been coming down with pink eye so he called Michelle to ask her what she used when she had it here. She gave him the list of active ingredients and he took that to one of the MANY chemists around here. He explained what the issue was and they brought out several products for him to look at but none of them had the ingredients that he was looking for. He told them what he wanted and the shopkeeper went back into the dark recesses of his store and came back with exactly what Nathan asked for. Money was exchanged and drops were used. It was when I was looking at the bottle that I realized the source of India's spirituality. It says:

"SCHEDULE H DRUG WARNING: To be sold by retail on the prescription of a Registered Medical Practitioner only"

Nathan never saw a Registered Medical Practitioner. So I am wondering what else we can buy without a prescription here that would help us achieve enlightenment.

Oh, and you should have seen Nathan haggle with the man who sold me a laundry hamper the other night. This man originally quoted me the price 1650 rupees ($40), but Nathan got him down to 720 rupees after the man told us that he bought the hamper at cost for 900 rupees. I believe I actually heard my husband yell at the man "Just because I'm white doesn't mean I'm stupid!". A little crowd even gathered around us who seemed fascinated that this foreigner didn't just cough up the ridiculous amount of money that he was quoted. It was pretty cool, I must say. Nathan triumphantly carried the hamper back on his shoulder like a trophy. Way to go, babe!

Why it's always good to google potential names...

UTI Bank.

Where they will let you take a very small amount of money out every few minutes

but it's gonna sting like the dickens.

One of these things is not like the others...

I really hope that the Jordans don't tire of us too quickly because we practically invited ourselves to the pool with them on Saturday. Friday night Nathan got home from work and begged me to call Michelle to see if they were going the next day. I told him that if I did, I would tell her that Nathan was too embarrassed to call to which he grabbed the phone and called her himself. The appointment was quickly set and after institute we headed over to the embassy to enjoy an afternoon of swimming and sandwiches. I had a really good meatball sub while Nathan entertained the troops by polishing off a chicken wrap (it was more of an appetizer, according to him) and then a Philly steak sandwich. It was fantastic. I have started to notice that my freckles are coming out again. That usually means I am having a good time. The Jordan boys were thrilled to see Nathan at church yesterday as they thought he was just their pool friend (I am under no illusion that I am the big draw in the Jones family). We very quickly had two boys on our laps for the rest of the meeting. They are a hoot.

Saturday night, we ended up at a dinner where we felt completely out of place. The Ricks, the government relations missionaries, invited us to a dinner at Vikram Dutte's home. We met him at a dinner before that I wrote about. He is Hindu, but a huge champion of our church and regularly works with the LDS Charities here as he in on the board of four or five charities himself. Anyways, he had us, the Ricks, the Dunns (the country directors for LDS Charities) and the Katakas who are the Indian representatives of LDS Charities. Also invited were the former governor of Assam, Dr. Singh, along with a couple (I can't remember their names off the top of my head) where he was a syndicated travel columnist for the Tribune before starting his own weekend publication and she is directing the renewal development around the Taj Mahal. Fascinating people. As it turns out, Vikram and Dr. Singh headed up an independent observers group to monitor the first democratic elections in Yugoslavia. While Vikram didn't have anything really good to say about Milosevic or his opponent, he was quite disgusted with the American press and the distortion that he said they made of the facts. I teased him by saying the the US press never gets anything wrong, to which he had a good chuckle. Then his reporter friend told us about his favorite places that he had visited. He also told us about how much things have changed in Shanghai. The first time he went was in the early 80's when there was one five-star hotel in the whole city. While there, he was solicited to engage in some (what we would consider) illegal acts by the hotel. He came home and wrote his article, but before it was even published he had the Chinese Ambassador at his front door demanding that he retract it. It seems that the Chinese had people on the payroll at the Tribune to know when disparaging things were going to be written about them. So he refused to pull the article and was told he would never get a visa to China again, and he never has. His wife has offered to show us around the Taj Mahal under a full moon which she says is an other-worldly experience. At one point Nathan and I were sitting next to each other asking how we got invited to dine with a group like this. Needless to say, we really didn't feel like we brought much to the table but we had a wonderful time. Everyone was very kind to us and seemed very interested about WIU so Nathan promised to show any of them who would like around the university. It was a great evening even if we were completely out of our league!

Félicitations!

A HUGE congratulations to Elder Jacob Jones who will be reporting to the MTC on September 11 to begin his mission to...

MISSION CANADIENNE DE MONTRÉAL

We are absolutely thrilled for you!

Laissez les bons temps rouler!

(I know it's not France, but maybe you should learn to beatbox too.)

Casey Kasem would have a field day with this one!

I have composed a new song about living in India. For those of you familiar with the Primary program of our church, this might be a bit recognizable.

I'll Walk With You

If you don't look like most people do

I will stop and stare at you.

Yes, I will!

I will!

If you don't talk like most people do

I'll speak Hindi or Urdu.

Yes, I will!

I will!

I'll walk with you,

I'll gawk at you.

You'll be on display like the zoo...

I have to admit that I am not happy with my last line so I would appreciate any help you might offer. Also, I have to work on the bridge but you get the basic idea. I'm thinking about laying down some tracks - maybe a little drum and bass action. I got it - UK Christmas Single!!! Top of the Pops, here I come!

Everybody's working for the weekend

You know how you have weekends that are nice and lazy and nothing much happens. Those are great and all, but you know how much better the ones are where you are out having fun the whole time? Yeah, the Jones clan had one of those this weekend. We got up early on Saturday morning and taught institute class. Now this might not sound great but it really is. We have a fabulous little class of regulars who come and participate whether they understand what is going on or not. Last week we also taught the English class where one of our students asked something that stumped me - why do we say "I am on the bus, on a plane, on a train" but "I am in the car"? Anyone who can give me an answer would be most appreciated! Anyways, this week Nathan taught about being financially responsible. Our answer of moving to a country with a significantly lower cost of living was not really the answer they were looking for so Nathan had to go another direction. It is interesting though as we were supposed to talk about insurance and when we asked if anyone there had any, the answer was that it is too expensive in India. So we are learning that we have to adjust just about everything in this class.

So we went home and about ten minutes later I got a text message from Michelle Jordan. She is in our branch and is quickly becoming a good friend. She said that her family was going to ACSA to go swimming and that we were invited to go along. Suddenly that nap that Nathan and I were planning on didn't seem so attractive and we grabbed our suits and headed over to the embassy. We had the most wonderful morning. The food was good, the pool was great, the company was the best. The Jordans have two little boys, Chase and Bryce, and Nathan and Michelle's husband, Michael, took turns seeing how high they could throw the boys into the air (Perhaps this is why we don't have children yet...). They were loving it! We were there for about three hours and then went home to get cleaned up for the party that evening.

While having lunch, the ACSA director came over and talked to us about the Independence Day party that they were hosting that evening. He had gone to California last year and saw how we do our Fourth of July parties and wanted to get as close as he could here. He promised "It will be 80% of California". We weren't sure if that was a specific place in California or the state as a whole but either way we were excited. So the Jordans sent their driver over to pick us up and take us to their house were we sat around and chatted for awhile before heading over to ACSA. They have a great place and their maid had just finished making chocolate chip cookies so we were very content. I don't even know if they were as good as I thought they were - it was just the fact that I could have one that made me so happy! When the boys were ready we headed over to ACSA where Cheri met us. It was really pretty sweet. There were booths with carnival games set up, vendors, and food. We got hamburgers (not lambburgers), beef brisket, potato salad, root beer, and Baskin Robbins. SO GOOOOOD! It was kind of interesting to look around the field (yep, it has a baseball field - what could be more American, right?) and realize that this was pretty much the entire American community in Delhi. There weren't many of us, that's for sure! We did meet this great new family that just moved into the other branch. He is in the Air Force but is on a two year program where he is studying language and culture at one of the local universities here. I think the best part was no uniform the entire time - he seemed pretty excited about that. Speaking of uniforms, the place really had the feel of a church carnival except for the massive tent in the middle where the Marine guards were selling shirts. Man, those were some mean looking dudes. Good thing they're on my side!

The fireworks were... less than 80%. For example, no patriotic music. In fact, they started off with Bryan Adams "Summer of '69". Now I am all about his first real six string, but to kick off the celebration of our nation's independence with a Canadian? C'mon guys! That and the fact the there was one firework every 20 seconds or so made it so you never quite knew if the show was over or not. We also had an INCREDIBLY annoying MC. Let's just say she started of by screaming, "FREEDOM IS AWESOME" like someone passing the beer bong around a Motley Crue concert. No one was going to say anything though since she is the embassy nurse and has seen about 75% of the US population in Delhi naked. After the fireworks the boys' fun meter was pegged so we went back to the Jordans' where we sat up talking until the wee small hours of the morning. As Nathan said the next morning, it was just like therapy.

The next day was Sunday so we headed off to church. We decided to take an auto rickshaw instead of our usual driver as it is cheaper. There are some definite benefits to taking the car. For example, I never have felt that I was going to have to get out and push like I did with the auto. We got there eventually, though, and church was great as always. After church we went back over to the Jordans' where we swapped DVDs watched a few episodes of Arrested Development and devoured a whole pan of rice crispy treats. Michael just got back from ten days in the States where he basically cleaned out the baking section of a Wal-Mart. He said going there was actually a bit overwhelming after shopping here for awhile. It will be interesting to see how we react when we go home. Anyway, long story short, we were up really late again chatting but having a great time. The Jordans are good people and we're glad we have them around.

You know, it doesn't sound like we did much, but that was the best weekend we have had since being here. Nathan was a whole new man and I think it made him realize that he does need to take time off on occasion if only to decompress a bit. Listening to him and Michael talk about some of the things they deal with at work, I realized that everything is a struggle there. There are language barriers, corporate culture issues, and personality conflicts that are so massive I think I would explode. But I'm not going to think about that today. In the words of Scarlett O'Hara, I'll think about that tomorrow. I'm still enjoying my weekend.

My baby's famous!

Now US accredited management degree for Indian students
Tribune News Service

Ludhiana, May 31
Students in Punjab can now earn an American Management Degree without leaving the Indian shores.

Western International University (WIU), an accredited American University based in Phoenix, Arizona, USA, now offers management education at its campus in New Delhi.

After completing their degrees in India, students will have the same academic and professional standing as students who complete their degrees from WIU in USA both in terms of progression to higher qualifications and job opportunities in the US.

According to the international enrolment manager of the university, Nathan Jones, their aim has been to bring quality American Management Education to students in India. WIU offers students, especially those from non-metro cities, the advantage of staying in India and earning an American Management Degree.

(In true Indian style, Nathan was never interviewed for this article though he is referenced!)

Vlog the Impaler

Only in America...

Could a man make millions wearing a jacket like this...

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

Why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly?

I think all doubt has flown out the window. Mukhtar, our driver, has a man-crush on my husband and, frankly, I don't know if I can compete. I don't know if it is the horrible dejected look on his face whenever he sees me coming without Nathan, if it is the fact that he has declared the UK (a country he has never been to and knows nothing about but will visit once God tells him it is alright) as his favorite country in the world, or if it the fact that he has written Nathan's name in big block capitals ON HIS CAR'S VISOR but I am just getting that vibe from him. Today, Nathan woke up with horrible mosquito bites all over his arms, legs, and face (not a one on me...) that were already flaring up so he stayed home from church. On the way home, Mukhtar took the opportunity to sing Nathan's praises to me. Apparently, he is very tall, handsome, cute, and all the office boys think that he is very active. He said something else that I couldn't quite catch - it was either that he is sensitive or sexy. Either way, whoa. That wasn't even the only weird thing! His whole family is now coming to church with us. I can't tell if it is because the really want to or if they feel it's a good way to get in good with us. Regardless, they are welcome to come. However, when his daughter got up and bore her testimony about Mr. Nathan Jones today, it got a bit creepy. She even announced our address. I'm wondering why Mukhtar is sharing this info, but I guess if he has dreams of Nathan becoming their second daddy, they'll need to know where he lives. I don't know if it will come to it, but I am prepared to girl fight him if he makes a move. I figure I must outweigh him by a good 50 pounds so the laws of physics are on my side and I will hand him his butt on a poppadom with a side of mint sauce...

It seems that we have a whole family of lizards now. We have little babies running around on our bedroom ceiling all the time. It shows how my standards have changed in that I really like seeing them around! They are actually pretty cute and I figure they must be eating the bugs so they are more than welcome. The other morning I woke up early and just watched them run around for a bit. Once the light comes on they freeze and watch you very closely, but when it's still dark they are quite the little runners!

I took this shot last night. It was hard to get a good one as they are so small. Any suggestions on names would be highly appreciated.

I have been thinking a lot about France since we bought our tickets the other night. I have decided that I really want to get into the spirit of it all so I am attempting to learn to beatbox. (Go white girl, go white girl, go...) Now, you may ask why, but once you watch this I think you will understand.

So far, all I can do is spit on myself a lot - but I'll have it by August!

Laissez les bons temps rouler!

It's official...

Tickets have been purchased, hotels are booked and the Joneses are heading off to France to join the rest of the family for the annual love fest in the land of cheese, Jerry Lewis film festivals, and recent conservative takeovers! Nathan and I are spending a few days in Paris alone first and then we will be joining everyone in Brittany for a week. I am going to start a jar for Nathan where he can put a rupee in for every time he says "I can't wait to go to France". Then when it is full I am going out for ice cream. It's a more positive take on the swear jar, I think. By my calculations the jar should be full by Monday night. He's a wee bit excited. And I'm up for anything that gets me ice cream.

Hmmmm...

I think I may have discovered why the dentistry is less than stellar in India. The other day we realized that Chinu has been cleaning our bathroom with Listerine. While our sinks do not have plaque buildup and have that lovely minty fresh taste to them, I hope I explained well enough to her that this is not its intended purpose. Of course, with our complete lack of a shared language she might start gargling bathroom cleaner and then I am really in trouble. Also, while shopping for toothpaste the other day, one brand stated quite emphatically "Now Sugar-Free!". That's positive. How very Victorian of them. This morning while brushing my teeth something caught my eye. As you can see, we just use our family favorite, Colgate.

It's what I noticed in the corner that I find so intriguing.

So no more mutton paste? Dang it! I kept coming back for that rich, gamey flavor...

Last night we had a lovely dinner with Nathan's cousin Mike who was here on business. He works for GE in their aircraft leasing division and is based out of Singapore. He has invited us to come and then suggested that we take a hopper flight to Bali for a few days. We are thinking December time would be perfect, so all morning in anticipation I have been singing Burl Ives' yuletide favorite, "Have a Holly Bali Christmas". This is shaping up to be a pretty exciting year!

Wow.

Mother Nature has a way of reminding you of just how insignificantly small and powerless you are, and last night she put on a show. Yesterday was a sunny day, warm and dry, but at around 9:00 in the evening I noticed lightning outside. Being my father's daughter, I immediately went out to investigate and was front seat to one of the most amazing sights I have ever beheld. There wasn't just lightning - the was sheets of it. It never let up. There were no breaks between bolts. Most of it wasn't even bolts, it was just clouds lighting up all over the sky. It started off to the west of us but very quickly came directly overhead. The eerie thing was that there was no sound. It was very War of the Worlds. I kept waiting for it, but besides the occasional low grumbling there was nothing. We didn't get much rain - heck, the electricity and TV didn't even get shut off - but I would be hard pressed to come up with a more amazing storm that I have seen. The coming of the monsoon is celebrated here in India because it means a break in the heat and that the rivers will be full again. Last night as I stood out on our little lawn I could hear whistles and horns being blown. I think everyone was pretty excited. I can't wait until it comes to stay.

You can't always get what you want

Nathan and I learned something very important this week. Repairs in India last about a week so it is good to hold on to your warranties! That's right, the air conditioning went out again with a loud POP! the other day so we have moved as much as we can into the bedroom where the AC does work. Fortunately, it is not as hot so we can walk through the living room without having to shower afterwards. And speaking of showers, I got up to take mine for church yesterday and yet again we had no water. Poor Nathan was woken up by my screaming, but luckily he watched the "electrician" fix it last time so he knew how to do it. I wasn't sure how long it would take, though, so I took the last bit of water from the hot water heater in the kitchen and bathed with a bucket and bowl. Nathan got it fixed though and got in a shower and we were only five minutes late to church! We have decided that the pump must also believe that Sunday is a day of rest because that is when it keeps cutting out. Thank goodness the Bhatias are coming back tomorrow!

Saturday I made some good progress. After seminary I went shopping with Cheri. We went to the Big Bazaar, the store that we went to our first week here that scared the heck out of me. My standards have changed significantly as I now find it the greatest place to shop in Delhi! I bought a bookshelf so I can finally clean off the table I use for a desk. I bought some plastic tubs to organize our bathroom a bit more. It still doesn't look organized. I don't know what else to do with that. I also tried to buy an ironing board but they refused to sell one to me. Customer service is a bit different here. Either there is WAY too much or none at all. I was in the household electronics section and saw that they had some ironing boards stacked up there. As I have been using our coffee table for the last two months I got very excited. I tried to get one and they told me I couldn't have one as those were part of a promotion. If I bought a $40 iron I could have the ironing board for free. I refuse to spend that much on an iron in the States, let alone in India! The boards had price tags that said 150 Rupees ($3) on them but they would not let me have one. They told me to go to the bottom floor where I would find ones I could buy. Shockingly enough, there were no boards. So I continue to use my coffee table. Ah well.

One really neat thing, before we went to the store Cheri and I went to Raj Ghat.

This is the pyre that Gandhi was cremated on. It is set in a beautiful park with lovely flowers and trees and is pristine. You can walk around the wall surrounding the pyre but to come up to it you must remove your shoes. It was quite moving to see people of so many races there. It is a very reverent place with an eternal flame and a real sense of gravitas. The engraving on it are Gandhi's last words "He Ram!" which means "Oh God". All heads of state are brought here to pay their respects and regular prayer meeting are held here by the national leaders. Really beautiful...

Why does this not surprise me?

From The Times

June 22, 2007

Parents film son, 15, doing surgery
Jeremy Page in Delhi

The 15-year-old son of two Indian doctors has performed a Caesarean section in an apparent attempt to get into the Guinness World Records book. Dhileepan Raj carried out the operation on a 20-year-old woman in April under the supervision of his parents, who own and run a private maternity clinic in the southern state of Tamil Nadu. His father, K Murugesan, recorded the operation on video and showed the footage to the local chapter of the Indian Medical Association, saying that he wanted his son to win a Guinness record as the world’s youngest surgeon. Dr Murugesan told the medical association in his home town of Manaparai that he had been training his son for three years and that it was not the first time that the boy had performed an operation.

When the chapter members reacted with horror, accusing him of violating medical ethics, Dr Murugesan denied any wrongdoing and accused them of being jealous of his son’s achievements.
He argued that if a 10-year-old is allowed to drive a car and a 15-year-old can graduate as a doctor in the United States, then his son should be allowed to be a surgeon.

In the film Dr Murugesan is shown delivering a spinal anaesthetic, although it is not clear if the patient is aware that his son is going to perform the operation, according to doctors who watched the footage. The baby was born with a noticeable lump on the spinal cord, but the defect had nothing to do with the surgery, they said. Local media quoted relatives of the mother as saying that she and the baby were both in good health. “We were all shocked, but he just didn’t listen,” said Venkatesh Prasad, secretary of the Manaparai Medical Association. “He said that we were jealous and were not recognising his son’s progress. He had no consideration for the ethics of the surgery.”

Dr Prasad and his colleagues reported the incident to the state medical association in Chennai, formerly Madras, about 300 miles (500km) away. Dr Murugesan, whose wife is a gynaecologist, has since retracted his claim, saying that he performed the surgery while his son watched.
“We allowed [him] to watch the surgery only to motivate him to pursue medicine after his school,” NDTV quoted Dr Murugesan as saying. But he could still be stripped of his licence and even face criminal charges, according to local doctors and officials.

V K Subburaj, the state health secretary, said yesterday that the local government would investigate the incident, which has shocked the nation. “We’ll get the report and then we’ll see whether there are any violations . . . prima facie it looks like there is a big violation,” he said. “We will definitely take action against the medical officers concerned.”

The incident highlights the poor regulation of myriad private clinics in India, which provide healthcare to hundreds of millions of people in the absence of sufficient staff or resources for state hospitals. It also reflects the enduring fascination of Indians with setting world records, even when they put lives in danger.

Last year a four-year-old boy tried to run a 43-mile marathon in an attempt to enter the Indian version of Guinness World Records. Doctors stopped the boy when he showed signs of exhaustion after 40 miles and later found him to be malnourished, anaemic and under cardiac stress.

Akrit Jaswal, a 12-year-old from India, is studying for a science degree, but in his spare time tries to find a cure for cancer – and performed his first operation five years ago. When a local girl in the Himalayan village of Nurpur burnt her fingers, fusing them together, he used a scalpel to separate her tendons – cementing his celebrity status. He now hopes to be the youngest person to win the Nobel Peace Prize

Fyodor Uglov claims to be the world’s oldest surgeon. Even after celebrating his 100th birthday in 2004 he refused to hang up his scrubs and has performed more than 6,000 operations during his 75-year career. Serving in the medical battalion during the 1941-1944 Siege of Leningrad, now St Petersburg, he worked on wounded civilians and soldiers while under fire

Heaven, I'm in heaven...

Today was so wonderful. The weather was perfect - sunny but not too hot with a slight breeze. Perfect. Last night I got a call from Michele, a fellow American in our branch, who invited me to come to ACSA (American Community Support Association) with her family for the afternoon to go swimming. ACSA is a social club adjacent to the US Embassy that serves its staff as well as the American community at large in Delhi. It has a pool, a few restaurants that serve beef, a bowling alley, a commissary, all that kind of thing. As you can imagine I JUMPED at it. We were the only people there for most of it so we had the pool pretty much to ourselves. It was so deliciously chilly that I could have cried. I spent most of the time floating on my back enjoying the coolness of the water on my back and the warmth of the sun on my face. With the breeze and my eyes shut, I could have been in Hawaii. Perfect. We swam for awhile, ordered some lunch (Roast Beef Panini, fries, American Coke and Milky Way - oh I was going to milk it for all its worth!) and chatted for nice long time. If there is one great thing I can say about Delhi, we have met some wonderful and interesting people. We were laughing about how it must be like a combat unit - you cling to each other sometimes to survive! Fortunately, I think we are clinging to some pretty great people. Michele told me that they come to the pool all the time and that Nathan and I are invited whenever we want. I told Nathan and I think he was about to run out of his office to the embassy and jump in with his suit on! We will be using that a lot, I should think. We are also going to the July 4th party that the embassy is hosting there. I can't wait!

On the way home, Muktar was pointing out all the embassies to me. I would take pictures but they get a little antsy about people taking pictures of embassies for some reason. Hmmmmm. It was a crack up, though, as I realized that the embassies really took on much of the stereotypical cultural aspects. For example, the embassies of the Middle Eastern Arab countries all have a guard in a booth surrounded by sandbags as if they are ready to take us all on at any minute. The Japanese has long sloping roofs that resemble a pagoda. The Pakistani looks like a mosque. The British High Commission has lush green lawns. The German proudly flies the EU flag and looks like the most dull but efficient office building you will ever see. I couldn't see much of the US Embassy, but I did see the long line of people waiting to get a visa. It went around the block. I wonder if they do that on purpose or if it is just part of our national cultures that we unconsciously choose to portray. Either way, it is a very serious and bureaucratic version of "It's a Small World". I wonder if they will change it up for Christmas...

Oh, Happy Day!

The rain has come! It has been so lovely and cool that I could cry! We didn't even use the AC yesterday and it was heavenly. I must admit to some evil glee when I see that it is now warmer in Mesa than it is here. We take what we can get, right? While the temperature is an absolute blessing, the rain has caused a few issues. For example, this is how my paper arrives every day...

No plastic bags here! That's okay, though. The paper costs 3 rupees a day (about 6 cents) so it's no huge loss. The Times of India cracks me up. It is a "serious" paper, but every once in awhile there are the funniest articles in it. Take, for example, the fashion spread that they did on women attending a female empowerment conference. I had to laugh over that one. Can we say that someone slightly missed the point?

The rain has caused other issues. The drains here are less than effective so the streets flood almost immediately. While this can be hard on cars, it can also be great if your driver decides that it would be fun to drive really fast next to rickshaws so we can splash them! That was a good time.

One not so funny thing is that the wind messed up our water pump on Sunday so we woke up to go to church and had no water. We were hot, sticky, and un-Christlike but we got it sorted in the end. Since our landlords have been gone we have lost our water, AC, keys, and sanity. We really need them to come back!

Eerie... As I am writing this the sky goes dark and the wind starts picking up. I LOVE IT!!! People always asked if the rain bothered me in London. It never did. I always loved it. Ooh, it just started raining again...

So funny story. Nathan was going out to one of the campuses the other day to work with the enrollment team, only they had a different idea. Instead they hosted a debate on his behalf. He was the guest of honor and was presented with a bouquet of flowers and had a red dot put on his forehead. I don't know what that means for men, but for women it means you are married. I'll have to ask about that.

An artist's rendering

So they have him sit in a special chair as he is to judge this competition. The MC gets up and introduces the topic and then calls Nathan up to say a few words. Now Nathan told me he wasn't quite sure what to say, but anyone who knows Nathan knows that is a lie. That boy has never had trouble figuring out what to say. So he sits down and the debate goes on. It was pretty good, apparently, and when it ends they have Nathan get up and speak AGAIN. I'm sure he was thrilled! I was bummed, though, that he wiped his red dot off. I wanted to see him all Indian-ized!

The best news of the day is that in 25 minutes I will be completely done with my statistics class. Oh, happy day!

Dealing with the issues...

I think that when it comes to the hard pressed issues of the day, no one holds a mirror to our faces like Flight of the Conchords.

I am so bummed we are going to miss their new show. Fingers crossed that iTunes will have it.

What are your overheads?

I am of worth, of infinite worth...

The news lately has been hard to watch, hard to read. Yesterday, CNN did a story on the rise of honor killings in the west. I was so angry by the end of it that I wanted to hit someone. This poor young woman was killed by her family because she ran away from an abusive arranged marriage and found love with another man. It didn't matter that he made her happy or that they shared their faith - he was from the wrong village. Clearly a good reason to have your daughter raped, strangled, and then crammed into a suitcase and buried in some backyard. It makes you wonder who was a better follower of their faith.

Unfortunately, The Times of India has stories like this everyday. India has had female Prime Ministers and is about to have its first female President, but on the same front page that announces this there is a story of an underground abortion clinic that was discovered yesterday with the charred bones of female foetuses crowding a septic tank. There is a huge population disparity between males and females, even amongst the upper classes. Ads for abortion clinics say things like "Save 100,000 Rupees in 20 years, spend 2,000 now". There is legislation against gender-determining ultrasounds, but the underground market for this is huge and unborn girls continue to suffer for it. Even fertility clinics which boast 30% success rates have women aborting if it is found that they have conceived a girl. All that work, and the child is not enough. As you can imagine, this breaks my heart.

It is not just the babies that are in danger. Married women are killed or commit suicide years after their marriage because their new family is dissatisfied with their dowries. There was a story in the paper today about a woman who hung herself. It is exhausting to read.

I will never understand why being female is such a crime. Are we not all God's creation? Are we not all sufficient and worthy of acknowledgement? I wonder what it be like when the time eventually comes, whether it be in this life or the next, when those who have perpetrated such awful crimes against the helpless and innocent and those who did nothing to stop them will finally understand who those helpless were. Last night I finished reading Legends of Our Time by Elie Wiesel. It is a series of stories chronicling his search for understanding in the twenty years after the Holocaust. In his closing paragraphs he says something that just cut me. He is talking about the ridiculous notion of those who try to psychologically understand the plight of the Jews at that time. Basically, he says there are no answers and to try and find them is to blame the Jews for not rising up. He makes this statement "Let me reveal a secret, one among a thousand, about why Jews did not resist: to punish us, to prepare a vengeance for us later. We are not worth their sacrifice." It will come. It will come. It will come. God will not forget His daughters even if we do.

Who came up with Murphy's law, and can I legally kill him?

I am lucky to have so many patient people around me, because I would have wanted to shoot me last night. We were leaving the house to go shopping when I realized that I had forgotten to grab the keys just as Nathan was closing the door. Picture Darth Vadar at the end of "Revenge of the Sith" screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO!" and you get the idea. Yes, we have one of those handy dandy security locks that bolts the door whenever it is shut. This would not normally be an issue, but our landlord is in England (Slough, in fact) for two weeks and we could not get into his place to get our spare set of keys. So, while I am about to burst into tears, Nathan called his office and they had a locksmith out in about half an hour. I swear, I owe them all my firstborn. Now, I figured that he would drill into the lock to bust it out but this was not the case. He pulled out his hammer and chisel and proceeded to WHACK away at the lock. This gave me an enormous sense of safety as we realized that if it takes a locksmith half an hour knocking the ever living daylights out of this lock with enough noise to wake the dead to get into our flat, we will never be robbed. And if we are, we will be on the other side of the door waiting for him!

I poked it. I think it's dead.

As the locksmith was working on it, Nathan's co-worker pointed to the hammer and chisel and said with a grin, "Indian technology, huh?".

So this is what my door looks like now.

As you can see, the bolt has been hollowed out and the locksmith will come and replace it later. In the meantime, we are using the other lock below the handle. It has a very complicated key that no one should be able to replicate.

Eat your heart out, Fort Knox.

I'M MELTING! I'M MELTING!

Cheri sent this to me the other day so I could get even more irritable. You see, on this day our air conditioner died in the living room. Unfortunately, this is the room where I have to do my school and work so I spend almost all day there. Nathan came home early, fortunately, and found me in a pretty bad state. He immediately called his office to have them send someone to look at it. When the repair team came in we were told that this would probably happen as... are you ready for this?... air conditioners don't work well IN THE HEAT. Wow, I guess it's good we only use them when it's 72 degrees outside... So Nathan dragged this moron (sorry, I don't deal well with idiocy in the heat) into the other room where the AC was working perfectly well and demanded to know if there was some other weather system in the bedroom that was making it possible for it to function there. I have never found him more attractive. So the team fixed it. It's still not working perfectly, but at least I won't get sick.

So the branch took no time giving us callings once it came out that we are here for a year. I am second counselor in the Relief Society (Enrichment -they obviously don't know me), Nathan is more than likely going to be in the Elders Quorum presidency (because the Elder's Quorum president told him that today) and we are teaching institute at 7:30 on Saturday mornings. They like to keep us busy around these parts! We are excited though, there are some great people in this branch.

Oh, by the way, here is the temperature right now...

Well, at least it only feels like 131 degrees.

VICTORY IS MINE!!!

I am so proud of myself - I managed to figure out how to beat the annoying shopping shadows! As I mentioned in a previous post, whenever you go shopping here you can expect to have someone two feet away from you following you everywhere and staring holes into you. So the other night Nathan and I were at the grocery store and I decided to have a little fun with it. He was off on the other side of the store when I noticed that I was being trailed... closely. So I thought it would be fun to play with this guy a little bit. The aisles in the store are about 10 feet long and the shelves are about 5 feet high so you can see across the entire store. I walked up a few aisles to make sure he was really behind me and when it became unmistakable I just started circling one set of shelves. I started off slow but then got quicker and quicker as he was still hanging on! He was persistant, I'll give him that, but I was going to win this one and eventually he figured it out and dropped off. I was so proud of myself and my incredibly childish behavior! I know it won't change anything in the shopping culture, but I figure that if I can show them that I can be just as crazy if not more than everything around me I'll come out on top!

We're having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave...

I just checked two websites to find out the temperature. One says 108 and the other says 115. One thing they agree on is that the 10 day forecast is not going to change much. Good thing we got out of Arizona for the summer! I don't care which temperature it is, it is flipping hot. Our poor little air conditioners work as hard as they can, but the fact of the matter is that they just are not strong enough. Last night the one in our bedroom shut off and I woke up from my perspiration. Lovely. Poor Nathan jumped out of bed and was checking fuses and switches all over the house. Fortunately, it came back on a little later and we could get back to sleep. I think it just needed a break. I figure that I will be moist for the next two to three months and hopefully drop some lbs in the process. Nathan and I are hoping to get away for a weekend to one of the hill stations. These are villages around the base of the Himalayas that everyone goes to during the summer to get away from the heat. Shimla is the most popular one. Funnily enough it is where the British Viceroy had his summer home. Now if the British built a town there you know it has to be good, right?

From what we have heard, strangely enough, the winters can get quite cold here. I am wondering if it is like Argentina in that all the floors are marble so there is nothing to absorb the cold. We are going to gave to get some space heaters and some rugs or I will freeze. Then apparently there is an hour and a half somewhere between October 26th and November 3rd where the weather is absolutely perfect and everyone runs out in the street and erupts into a parade. We'll find out, I guess. Should be interesting. People here do what people in Arizona do in the summer if they can - they get out. This is the big time for expats to go home. Some of them come back in the fall, but this is when most of their contracts end. I look at it this way, we are going to get over the nasty first and then get on to the cold but much easier to manage temperatures. I would much rather do it that way. With everyone leaving too, I am thinking I might pop over to the thrift shop at the American Embassy that the American Women's Association runs. I am hoping to score a microwave oven as they are incredibly expensive here. People just don't use them so they cost a pretty penny. If I could find one though... bliss.

Alright, one funny story. The other day my friend Merinda called me and asked me if I would like to go to the salon with her to get our hair done. I jumped at it! I was so ready to have someone pamper me a bit and they did not disappoint. It's this great shop just down the road from us where they have imported a Frenchman to be the master stylist (having spent some time in France I always wonder why everyone thinks they have all the style - doesn't matter, I'll take it!). So I have my little kimono on and I am getting my hair washed. There is lovely music playing. Then I get my head massage. Nice acoustic rock songs. Then I get a shoulder and arm massage. Then it happens. The theme song to "Popeye, the Sailor Man" starts playing. What? It's true. I start chuckling. No one makes a sound. I look out the corner of my eye to see if anyone finds the fact that we are listening to "I'm strong to the finish, cause I eat me spinach" as amusing as I do. Nothing. Everyone just continues on with what they are doing as if nothing odd is going on. When the song was over it went right back to the lovely acoustic music that was playing before. I half expected Rod Serling to step out from a corner somewhere and start a monologue about how I was about to get my hair trimmed in the Twilight Zone. No such luck, but my hair turned out great and I got a funny story out of it.

One other funny story. The other night Nathan was helping me with my statistics homework. He truly has the patience of Job with me and I completely understand why Simon liked having him as a tutor. Finally, after working for a ridiculous amount of time I turned to him with tears forming in my eyes. I said," Thank you so much for helping me. I don't know what I would do without you. You are the best. I am sorry that I ever made fun of you for checking out statistics books from the library. I will never do that again." My husband looked at me and gently placed a hand on my shoulder. "You really do need me," he said in all seriousness, "because those were algebra books." Oh dear.

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

Well folks, WIU says it looks like we are here for a year. They think. Don't quote them. That's the plan. Nathan spoke to his supervisor last night and she said that they are pretty confident that we are going to be here for awhile. So still nothing in concrete, but I feel pretty good about it. That's the weird thing too - I do feel pretty good about it. I was relieved when Nathan told me because I really want to give this place a fighting chance and, let's face it, nowhere gets a fighting chance when it is 110 degrees. So I can chill out about packing in all the sightseeing in the next few months and wait until it cools down to an acceptable temperature. This also means that I am going to start spending some cash on making our place a bit more comfortable to live in. AND that if anyone wants to come and visit, they too can choose and non-flesh searing time of the year to do it...

So I have managed to touch off a firestorm in the neighborhood this week without even trying! I paid Chinu 1000 rupees the other day for the work she did over the last month. This comes to about $25. I thought this was an acceptable amount for the woman who washes my dishes, mops my floors, and cleans my bathrooms everyday. I was mistaken. Our landlord told us that this was unacceptable as this is more than she gets from the other people in the neighborhood and now she will want more from them all. Also, if she works an hour and a half to only pay her for an hour. So far, I have been told that she will rob me, lie to me, and steal my money while holding it over everyone else's head. My experience with her has been that she brings me every rupee that she finds, asks me if she can move anything, and she came back the next day trying to explain that I had paid her too much. I wanted to say to our landlord that first of all this is between Chinu and me, and second of all she is not a child and I don't feel like trying to squeeze as much work out of her for as little money as possible. It feels a bit dishonest to me. But then, I don't understand how business works here, so I have promised to only pay her 400 next month. I'm totally Kathy Lee Gifford with those Kmart sweatshops...

Memories light the corners of my mind...

I apologize upfront that really only one person in the world will understand the enormity of this post, but it is vital that I post it here as I almost fell out of my chair laughing last night over it. So Nathan got home safely yesterday and we went to dinner at a great Italian place nearby. It works out well because Indians eat dinner much later than we do so we can always get a great table right away. Effectively, we are the old Canadian snowbirds that clog Mesa with their massive RVs every October driving 30 miles an hour in the fast lane with their left turn signal on. Now if only I could find 50 drug stores within a three mile radius... At this particular restaurant they play Kenny G until about 8:00 when the crowd starts piling in and then a DJ starts kicking the music up a notch. Have I mentioned yet that Indians love American rock? Oh, yeah. Last night we got a little Sweet Child of Mine to start things off and then it progressed from there. So I'm telling Nathan something when all of the sudden I hear something over the speakers that I have not heard in years... "Lydia, oh Lydia, I wish I didn't get rid of ya, Lydia I miss your rose tattoo". Suddenly I am 19 years old again dragging Main in Boise in Thayer's Saturn heading to the 7/11! Oh my gosh, I started singing and chair dancing, excitedly telling Nathan how Megan and I taped this band performing at the Apollo (do you remember that performance - whoa.) Then, as if this is not enough, it starts mixing into "Fantastic Voyage" by Coolio! That's right girl, the DJ was just playing MTV Party-to-Go Vol. 6!

My wonderful husband, realizing that this album signalled a pivotal time in my life, went and talked to the DJ who is going to sell us his copy of it tonight. Then I am going to need him to go away on business for a few more days so I can convert the apartment into my own private dance studio. Because as Elizabeth Berkely so emphatically put it "I'M A DANCER!"

Is someone being a grouch bear?

Yes, someone apparently is and it's me! I just reread my last two posts and I sound HORRIBLE. I think I am going to chalk that one up to heat exposure. Whenever Nathan gets moany about things I make him say three nice things about whatever he is moaning about. As I must hold myself to the same standard, here goes...

1. I love that Delhi has built around its monuments. In the center of many of the roundabouts are temples and tombs that are hundreds of years old. They have held up in amazing condition and still show some of the delicate tile work that decorated the outside of many of them. I especially love the blue tiles. They are bright and cheerful, especially in contrast with the brownish color that most of the buildings have here.

2. I love that McDonalds delivers here. We cook for ourselves probably five days a week, go out once, and order in once. As this is the extent of our kitchen appliances (I am not complaining - I am explaining)...

...we have had to be a bit creative with our cooking. I do quasi-Indian once a week, we have pasta, omelettes, and rice dishes, and we have rediscovered our love of french toast. Every once in awhile, though, it is nice to sit down with a chicken burger, fries, and chocolate shake. As Nathan says, our attitude towards McDonalds is much different in India than in the US.

3. I love that this has been the coolest May on record for over a decade. There was an article in the newspaper that said that India has received much more rain and, as a result, much cooler temperatures than normal. We have been wondering as it has been warm but not unbearable since we have been here. This week has kicked it up a notch, but from the experts at Weather.com, June is supposed to be a bit cooler and then the Monsoon comes. I am so excited for that. I realize that I will have a few really bad hair months, but I just keep picturing articles from National Geographic that I used to look at with people wading in water up to their necks. It doesn't get that bad here, fortunately, but apparently in the south it gets pretty close sometimes. I will make sure to document that really well.

Well, I just got off the phone with Nathan and he is on his way home from Punjab.

Not this one...This one.

So he "may be far away, or may be real nearby". Great, now I am going to be singing the Annie soundtrack all day...

Every breath you take... Every move you make...

Shopping in India is not an easy thing for several reasons. First, there is not the selection of items that we have in the UK or US. Fine, I can totally deal with that. I can also deal with the haggling that is necessary at times to get a decent price on things. What I can not stand is the staring and being followed around. I was at the grocery store today and a man that works there would stand two feet away from me and stare at me as I was trying to figure out what juice I wanted to buy. Nathan and I went to a handicraft emporium this afternoon that sold incredibly beautiful things, but I wanted to run out of there screaming within ten minutes. Picture the worst car dealership you have ever been to and you will start to understand. We walk into the shop and a man runs up to me and shouts,"Madam, (I am always Madam here) what do you want to buy?". Then we had at least three people trailing us everywhere we went. We told them at least twenty times that we were just wandering around and that if we needed help we would ask. This was no deterrent to them and anything I looked at or commented to Nathan about was pulled down and pushed on me. Finally I said to Nathan,"I need to get out of here" and we were gone. Turns out that this wasn't the store that we had asked our driver to take us to, but it was the one that his buddies work at. He pulled this with Nathan the other night on his way home from work. He took him to a rug store where Nathan was told by the five men surrounding him that he should buy the $800 rug to surprise his wife. I do not want a $800 surprise. Today when we dropped Nathan off at the train station Muktar suggested another store to take me to. I was too tired to put up with that baloney and told him to take me home. If he is going to keep doing this we may have a problem.

This is one thing that we have learned being here. It sounds incredibly glamorous to have a driver and a maid. It is not. What it means is that for an hour a day I have to watch Chinu and make sure she does what we are paying her for. Not that she doesn't do a great job, it's just that I am trapped in the house when I have other things to do. I just like having my house to myself, but I also like not mopping my floors and cleaning toilets so I put up with it. People don't understand why we don't have a cook, I just want to have my evenings alone with Nathan.

Not that his company makes this easy (Wow, I am whining in this one!). Nathan was contracted to work five days a week and to have US holidays off. This has not proven to be true. He has worked every Saturday since we have been here except for the one where we had Delhi Belly. It was lovely. Last weekend he worked Sunday as well and he did not get Memorial Day off. I've decided that India's low divorce rate is due to the fact that married couples never see each other here.He usually gets home at around 7:30, eats dinner, and works until midnight. When we are together, he is helping me with my math homework (even though I did it almost all by myself last night!). He is on a train right now to Punjab where he will be until Friday. They wanted him to go to another fair on Saturday and Sunday but we decided that he would set this weekend aside so that we could do some sightseeing. It doesn't matter, he has been scheduled for a meeting Saturday at 2:00. I am really trying to be supportive of him but it is hard to be alone so much and to not be angry at people who are clearly oblivious to the fact that Nathan has a family. We had originally planned on me going with him, but with his schedule there we wouldn't have been able to do anything anyways so it seemed kind of pointless to spend the money.

This sounds so moany but the fact of the matter is that one day I will be enchanted by this place and the next I am kicking and screaming against it. Today is the latter. So that must mean that tomorrow will be a great day, right?

Security Issues

Safety has become something that we have thought about a lot lately - not just how to keep ourselves safe, but how different it seems that the Indians view it. For example, our apartment has one door. All of our windows are barred and we have no fire alarm. We were told that we don't need one since cement houses don't burn. Okay. Yesterday we were driving home from church and passed a tow truck pulling a car. Standing, that's right, standing on the back of the truck only holding on to one cable was a man watching the car, apparently to make sure it didn't fall off. We were going about 45 miles per hour so this was no small feat.

A bit more pressing in my mind is that in the month that we have been here there have been several bombings, one in Hyderabad and several in Guwahati. The one in Hyderabad was of a mosque at the end of prayers. Several people were killed, but more were killed by the police firing into the crowd of protestors. The bombings in Guwaharti have been done by a group called ULFA or the United Liberation Front of Assam. Assam is the little bit of India that sits off by itself between Bhutan and Bangladesh and it is suspected that ULFA is backed by Taliban camps in Bangladesh. Kashmir is another hotbed area. When India received its independence, the Maharajah was given the choice as to whether Kashmir would align itself with India or Pakistan. Apparently, he didn't take into account the fact that the vast majority of people living there are Muslim and wanted to be Pakistanis. From what I understand, it is absolutely beautiful there and the rugs are gorgeous but we had to promise that we would not travel there in order to get our visas. We have made sure to register with the Embassy and High Commission to make sure we know where is safe and where we should stay away from. The amazing thing is that nothing shuts down after a bombing. Markets don't even shut down for a day. People go back to work and get on with their life. We view it very differently.

On a funny note, yesterday at church a talk was being given on faith. The young man giving it was talking about Noah and how the people reacted to him. He said (I paraphrase), "They thought, what the h--- is he doing?". Classic.

Interesting People

This week ended busy and exciting. On Friday night we were invited to a dinner at the house of the Vice-Consul of the US Embassy who just happens to be a member of our church. They also invited Nathan’s boss, Charu Modi, who was more than happy to come to help facilitate student visas. Also there were the government liaison missionaries as well as the country directors for LDS Charities, the Dunns. There were also some friends and acquaintances of the Vice-Consul, one of whom was named Vikram Dutt who has one of the most interesting business cards I have ever seen. He is on the board of four charities as well as teaching ethics in management courses for one of the local university and a frequent visitor to BYU for world religion conferences where he has had the opportunity to meet President Hinckley on multiple occasions. What I didn’t realize about him until later is that he is Hindu but speaks glowingly about the members of our faith. We were given a presentation about LDS Charities’ efforts in India which was very interesting. Last year they distributed hundreds of wheelchairs and also focused on clean water pumps. As it turns out, one of their major partners here in India is Charu Modi’s cousin! Small world, huh? After the dinner, Sister Dunn talked to me about what she is doing here. She is teaching music at a slum school and asked me if I would like to help her. She said that there are several programs that are available so I am going to give her a call and discuss it more in depth. It sounds like something I really shouldn’t pass up, especially if it is for a few hours a week. We shall see.

Charu is a fascinating character. She was telling us how she got involved with Western International University. She is a Thunderbird grad and came home wondering how she could bring quality western education to India at a price that would be affordable to more people. So she spoke to her father who told her that if she could find a partner with assets of $1 billion or more he would back her (I wish I could have that conversation with someone!). So she went online and found out which schools could be transferred to India that had the resources necessary. There were four so she called them up, went and saw them, and presented her idea. Western International took the bait and here they are. She also runs a group that works with Banner Health in Arizona to make up for the lack of nurses. Her group trains Indian nurses, has them take the necessary boards, and then contracts them to Banner for a few years. The nurse, along with his or her whole family, receives a green card so they can stay as long as they want, but the majority plan on returning to India within a few years. The great thing is that, of the fifty who have gone to Arizona, ten have already purchased their own homes there. This is something they would never have been able to do at home. Then when they come home they can bring their skills and capital with them which will help boost the Indian economy. I think it’s a great plan. I love that when she comes up with a business idea, it is always with an eye towards how she can benefit her country in the long run. I think she’ll be a great contact for Nathan throughout his career.

I also had a great discussion with Brian Reynolds, the Vice-Consul. He was telling me about life at the State Department. Sounds amazing! His last assignment was Beijing and the things he was telling us about China were fascinating. He was the secretary to the ambassador there and said that the things he heard in meetings made Tom Clancy novels seem pretty tame. He couldn’t tell me what they were but I have been wondering ever since!

This is getting long, but something really nice happened today. Our driver, Muktar Khan, is a lovely man who sings whenever he drives us around. He is Muslim and is very excited that we have the same God. Last week he dropped us off at church and then followed us in later to see what it is like. He took his shoes off at the door, as you would in a mosque, and sat in the back for a few minutes. Today, he came for the whole meeting. I think he was embarrassed that we sat with him since there is a social order here that is pretty inflexible but in the end we employ him so if we want to sit with him than so be it. We got him a copy of the Liahona in Hindi and will get him a Book of Mormon next week. He told me that he felt good in our meetings, and I must confess that sacrament meeting was especially good today. So on the way home I told him that he has to take us to a mosque so that we can learn about his religion. He seemed very pleased to do that. I don’t know if anything will come of it, but I love his curiosity.

By the way, Nathan found out that Brian Mueller, the CEO of the Apollo Group is coming to India next month to see how things are going. That should be an interesting couple of days!

Thank you, Wikipedia. (see previous post)

The use of the swastika was associated by Nazi theorists with their conjecture of Aryan cultural descent of the German people. Following the Nordicist version of the Aryan invasion theory, the Nazis claimed that the early Aryans of India, from whose Vedic tradition the swastika sprang, were the prototypical white invaders. It was also widely believed that the Indian caste system had originated as a means to avoid racial mixing. The concept of Racial purity was an ideology central to Nazism though it is now considered unscientific. For Rosenberg, the Aryans of India were both a model to be imitated and a warning of the dangers of the spiritual and racial "confusion" that, he believed, arose from the close proximity of races.

Thus, they saw fit to co-opt the sign as a symbol of the Aryan master race.

World Religions 101

I woke up this morning with a mosquito bite on the tip of three fingers in a row. Apparently, I am going to have to bust out the tennis racket of death a bit more!

One of the things I knew about India before I came was that religion is an important part of life here and that there are many different kinds. Hinduism is the most prevalent but there are pockets of Buddhist, Islamic, Jainist, and Christian communities throughout the country (along with a myriad of others). Delhi, being the capital, has a little bit of everything it seems. We have a new Hindu temple being built less than a quarter of a mile from our house on one corner and on another corner is a Sikh temple that has people coming in and out of it all day. They also have music all the time that we can hear from our house so it gives the neighborhood the feeling of being at the beginning of a movie where they are trying to emphasize that this is the Middle East so they show a man on a tower singing to call everyone to prayer. You know what I mean? It's kind of cool. What I have learned about Sikhism is very interesting to me. They believe in one god and that all men are equal before him. At their Golden Temple in Punjab they serve free meals to anyone of any religion that comes to the temple. The belief is not that this will make the poor feel better about themselves, but that the rich will be more humble. I think that's a smart way of handling things.

The Golden Temple

As Hinduism is the major religion here you see its religious iconography everywhere. To be honest, it reminds me a lot of Argentina with the pictures and statues of saints everywhere. Here, of course, it is the multiple gods and goddesses that are represented. I was intrigued when I was at Nathan's office and noticed that as you come downstairs to his office there is a carving of Ganesh, the god with the elephant head. You certainly wouldn't see that at home!

I wanted to know more about him because you see his image everywhere (along with the swastika which always catches me a bit off guard - I still have to figure out why the Nazis used that one!). Ganesh is the son of Vishnu and he is the god of material wealth. Praying to him is done to remove obstacles to worldly success. So that makes sense to me as to why you see him everywhere - everyone's got rupee fever! But I still didn't know why he has an elephant head. Well, it seems that there are many stories about that and so you get different ideas from different people. My favorite, thus far, has been that Shiva comes home after years of being away (yes, this sounds very much like a Greek tragedy) and comes looking for his consort Parvati. He finds her in her bedroom with their son Ganesh who Shiva had not seen grow into a man. Shiva thinks that he is a suitor and, rather than ask who this guy is, he chops off Ganesh's head. Parvati tells him what he has done and, in remorse, he gives Ganesh a new elephant head so that this will never happen again.

There are several lessons that I think we can learn from this tragedy. First, knock before entering a room. Second, get to know your kids. Play ball. Take them to the movies. Don't let decades go by without going and getting a coke with them. Also, memorize your child's face. If you are worried that you might chop their head off a second time, perhaps you should have the elephant head so he can see you coming and run! Thirdly, if you have been away from your wife for that long, she will more than likely have made friends that you know nothing about. Ask her who the guy is before inflicting mortal harm on him. He might just be a handyman or a eunuch or something. You are the one who's been gone that long - give her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps I am being too pragmatic about it, but this is how I interpret the story. Oh geesh, I hope I don't get into trouble for this one!

Love, Indian Style

So I wanted to post yesterday - I had a mental outline and everything - but the power kept cutting out all afternoon so I gave up. That's what happens when everyone is using their air conditioning when it is sweltering, the net effect being that we all get to sit around in our sweat for a few hours. Every once in awhile I could get our power inverter working but I eventually gave up and sat in a dim room and cracked into my new Alison Weir book. That made the time pass well enough. In fact, I am enjoying it so much that I woke up at 4:30 this morning to read some more and then woke up again and read for about a half an hour. I love books like that.

I had a really fun morning yesterday. Some of the ladies from church and the neighborhood got together for a play date with their kids and invited me along. It was really nice to sit and chat in a casual environment and get to know some really interesting people. One of the women there, Michelle Jordan, teaches the Marriage Prep/Building a Successful Marriage class at church and we were talking about the differences between the western idea of relationships and the Indian idea. To be honest, she said that she still hadn't figured out how it works here. The idea of dating is still quite foreign to people here and arranged marriage is prevalent. In fact, Merinda, our hostess, was telling us that she and her husband were at a party once and were dancing together and having a good time. At the end of the party some of the people there asked if they had an arranged marriage. When Merinda said no, she was told "But you seem so happy together!" Apparently, "love marriages" are seen as less stable because they are built on infatuation. Arranged marriages allow people to grow up knowing each other and seeing each other in different lights, thus allowing for them to understand each other better. I can see how that would work here, because it doesn't seem that there is nearly as much opportunity for people to have social interaction here without it being deemed inappropriate or obscene.

I was reading the Times of India the other day and there was an article about the Morale Police. These dudes are freaky. There is no uniform code of what is considered immoral behavior, but they make it their job to chastise and punish anyone who they feel cross the line. This could include anything as innocuous as holding hands or even just sitting together. In one village on Valentine's Day they even declared it illegal for any man and woman to be seen walking together. This is insanity and people are starting to get really annoyed by it. In the paper there has been a lot of discussion as to the standards that are enforced here and how hypocritical they are. For example, there is no kissing in Bollywood films, but the commercials here insinuate sexual behavior all over the place. Handholding might be looked down on, but India has the largest AIDS population in the world. Women need to remain covered and chaste, but the depictions of the goddesses all show these Pamela Anderson like figures doing their utmost to please the gods. For Pete's sake, the Kama Sutra is one of India's greatest exports! I don't get it, but fortunately we western women are known for having loose morale character so I can hold Nathan's hand whenever I want!